The Whirlwind Winter Wonder-Vacation: Japan, Seoul, and BIG SHOW

The Japanese reads: Stay Strong

3/11/11 – 3/11/12 – A full year has passed since the Great Tohoku Earthquake & Tsunami in Japan.  東北大地震.  I will never forget where I was when I first heard the news that would change not only my life, but so many other people’s lives.  Japan, you will forever and always be in my heart.  No matter what.  Please know that Japan is still suffering from this disaster and that a lot more needs to be done.  I am not done with you yet Japan.

What a year.

So I know it has been awhile since I posted anything.  I have been terribly busy as you all can imagine.  My winter vacation was amazing.  For Christmas I went back home to Chicago and visited family and friends- which was too short of a time if you ask me.  Then I jetted back to South Korea and had my winter camp “Around the World in 10 Days” with some of my first graders for 2 weeks.  That went pretty well and was challenging in and of itself.  After my winter camp I took my friend Jenny on a whirlwind adventure of Japan’s island Kyushu.  There we visited two of my friends and had a blast traveling around the northern part of Kyushu.  First we spent two days in Kumamoto with Janelle, then we traveled to Beppu and had the quintessential Japanese experience in a mud bath hot spring outside while it started to snow.  It was quite literally, the epitome of what is considered traditional “Japanese” culture.  Just an influx of different senses….I forget the term that is used to describe this in Japanese.  After Beppu we shinkansen-ed it over to Nagasaki where we went to the Lantern Festival and to the Peace Park and museum.  It was very different from Hiroshima, that’s for sure.  After two days in Nagasaki, we went to Fukuoka to meet with Janelle again and then Dohwa.  Then the next day we took the ferry back to Busan and it was good to be back in Korea yet again.  It was very different being in Japan again…I liked it but then again, something was a bit off I felt.  And that’s Japan Trip 2012 in a nutshell!

After Japan I then had two days at my homestay and then went straight to Seoul.  I was in Seoul for the whole month of February and it was AMAZING.  I took language classes there and lived with 3 other Fulbright women.  February was an epic month and I had so much fun living with Jenny, Jenna and Emma.  It turned out even better than I could imagine.  I miss it now for sure.  Every day we would wake up laughing and go to bed laughing.  It definitely has been an adjustment coming back to Gumi and to a homestay.  I missed them but I very much enjoyed my freedom. 

Right when I got to Seoul on February 1st I had to take a placement exam for my Korean class and IMMEDIATELY find a PC Bang (pc room) where I could try to buy tickets to go see my favorite Korean band BIG BANG.  They seriously are amazing and I can’t get enough of them.  I won’t go on a rant and rave here.  The whole Kpop experience has been unreal- it sucks you in and never lets go!  Anyways I really wanted to go to Big Bang’s concert in March and so I had to buy tickets.  Now, this concert isn’t just any concert….it’s BIG SHOW.  One of the hardest concerts to get tickets to because everyone wants to see Big Bang.  Especially after the 2011 they had….  So what follows is this: Ashlee is going to see Big Bang no matter what.  I enlisted the help of some of my Fulbright friends who have ticketed for Kpop concerts before and they coached me on what to do.  Let’s just say what ensued was the most intense experience of my short life.  Here’s a little excerpt from a follow up conversation I had with one of my Kpop friend-coaches:

“omg
alia.....it was INTENSE. Okay so thank GOD for the PC bang people- I am going to actually probably buy them a full cake and bring it to them tomorrow....It was a lot of refreshing and I even started at 7:59 refreshing and error messages kept coming up when it hit 8:00. Started to panic but kept doing it....just overloaded gmarket as usual. So it was reaching about 8:10/8:15 and i was pretty much squealing 어떻게 , 진짜, and a slew of other swears between laughing and shaking my head but still not giving up hope. Then....IT HAPPENED. Refreshed, and the map came up. boom. clicked on a section all full, another all full. called the girl back over cause she had stepped away and then bam she started helping me click sections and i just went right for the 3rd floor ones cause all the rest were full....then BAM some red spots were opening up and we were like OOHH AH EEEH! i go to click them and get out clicked like...10 times. then BOOM. I GET A SEAT. I NEARLY SHIT MY PANTS. I didn't even know what section it was in i didn't care- She helped me fill out info and I opted for a bank transfer from my nonghyup to gmarket's nonghyup- that's what jenny does. So i didn't mess with the card at all. I had tried to practice buying something before which downloaded something or what not but i didn't need it. Printed the info out for 200 won and then went to the NongHyup down the street to transfer that money like no one's business. Transferred it...and it looked like everything  went through alright....Just checked my gmarket account and it looks possibly like everything has gone through and it has "shipping requested" on it. I am in seated Section 30, third floor, 6 102 번 which i am assuming is #6,102 seat. I think maybe it is safe to say that that is all the confirmation I need? I am just nervous that something will eff up. but for now.....I AM SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.”

Luckily, nothing screwed up!  I brought the PC bang people bread the next day and said my thanks to them.  They were getting a kick out of me that’s for sure.  My friends and I deemed it a birthday miracle.  I had a lot of birthday miracles this year come to think of it…   Big Bang teased us all throughout February leading up to their new album’s release on February 29^th.  I ended up going to the concert on Saturday, March 3^rd with Jenny and having the time of my life.  It was such an experience- overwhelming and weird too.  Big Bang was absolutely amazing.  Their music was fantastic….(see what I did there Big Bang fans? J) and I am hooked all over again. 

I had my first week of teaching last week.  I have a nice little batch of brand new 1^st grade middle schoolers.  They are all so sweet and nice and I feel like this semester will go so much more smoothly than last one.  It makes a huge difference when you start at the beginning of the school year rather than in the middle-  so the kids will become used to my routines and tendencies right off the bat.  And I really am thinking about starting that little softball club this semester.  The weather is becoming beautiful and I really want to leave my mark here.  Also this semester I plan on volunteering a lot with the orphanage here in Gumi.  I promised two of the high school boys this past December that I would help them with their English.  I plan on living up to that promise. 

Also I have a genius idea for my host sister’s birthday….I will probably make her do a scavenger hunt for her presents…this should be fun!!! 

Until next time!

~Ashlee

I Have It Easy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Or rather in the eyes of the media.  Koreans and many Asians in general constantly face the problem of Western features being held in high esteem.  Sometimes I don’t really know what to write about this matter.  But then again I have A LOT to say about it.  Some people say I have it easy here in Korea; I do truly believe this.  I do have it easy.  I am the stereotypical looking Westerner- tall, blonde hair, a “high nose,” “blue eyes” even though they are totally green….I am white.  I am not a overly-tanned stick of a person, but instead a pasty, pleasantly plump person, which I am proud to say.  This is totally not to toot my own horn- but the fact is, since I look like a stereotypical Westerner, and the image that many Koreans have in their mind about an American, I have it easy.  However, having it easy doesn’t make it any less hard to face the images that are produced for consumption by the general public and eaten up to be the end all be all.  Here in Korea I am constantly told that I am pretty.  I admit, this is a huge ego boost.  I like it.  I think it is nice. But what I hate the most is when people start comparing their features to mine and then not only claiming that their own are inferior, but taking it one step further to act upon it.

Today, my host family’s cousin came over for a visit.  About a month ago I had met this young woman- beautiful girl, sweet, shy and seemingly intelligent.  After breaking through the ice of her painful shyness we discussed our mutual love for K-pop, especially Eunhyuk of Super Junior.  We had found common ground if only for a short time.  It was really great.  That was back in September.  About a week ago I had heard from her mother that her daughter couldn’t attend a dinner because she was having the double eye-lid surgery as well as some other things.  Upon hearing this news I kept my face in as much of a mask as I could to hide my disapproval and smiled only weakly, nodding that I understood what it meant.  She was in the hospital and couldn’t come to dinner- it was really…no big deal. 

So today, they came over for a visit.  I was surprised to see my host-cousin.  From what I faintly remember from September, she looked totally different to me.  Again, as we greeted them at the door I tried to wear my mask.  Immediately I went to my room after host mom and host aunt started talking about host cousin’s new “yeppun nun!”  Going to my room is a rare occasion if someone comes over; usually I greet and then sit down to be social with the visitors.  I might not talk a lot, but it usually is a good way to build jeong and show that I am interested.  It’s basic manners.  So as I stood in my room I had a decision to make:  do I stay here and pretty much hide risking being perceived to be rude (keep in mind, I haven’t seen my host cousin in a couple of months- naturally it would be appropriate to want to sit down with her and visit)?  Or do I go be social and know, just know that they would start comparing my naturally double-eye lidded eyes to my host cousin’s new ones.  How would that make her feel?  I don’t even know if she’s the one who wanted the surgery.  Would I be asked if I liked them?  How could I convey my true opinion without offending?  I don’t think my host cousin or my host aunt are bad people.  I am just highly disgusted with the system.  Would I be reconfirming a reason for wanting to do the surgery? 

I decided to sit down with them.  I brought wire that I had been twisting to prepare for tomorrow’s class to make dream catchers.  After some deliberation, I decided I would just try to focus on my wire and smile and nod when appropriate and maybe make conversation with my host cousin about something other than her eyes.  And my intuition was right- they started to compare my eyes with hers.  Or at least comment on how they either looked alike or didn’t, I don’t know.  Half the time I play guessing games with what people say (hence why I am taking Korean classes this February!! So excited!).  Once they started doing that, my host cousin was quiet and I couldn’t wear my mask any longer.  So with one more comment about how pretty my eyes were, I started to squirm in slight denial and I stated in my broken Korean that I thought all people’s eyes were pretty.  I don’t know if anyone really understood, but they stopped after that.  I sat there for the rest of the visit, listening to the usual banter and trying to give my host cousin compliments on other things and trying to make light conversation.  She seemed even more shy than the first time I met her.

This past semester, I taught a lesson on beauty to my co-ed middle school students.  The lesson didn’t really have the grasp I wanted it to have, or so I think.  I hope it did.  I was surprised to hear from many of my young girl’s mouths that they knew that inner beauty was so much more than outer beauty and that my lesson pretty much didn’t tell them anything new.  In some occasions I had girls blatantly tell me that they knew they were pretty, in almost a cocky way.  I wonder how many of those girls will get surgery.  I wonder how many of those girls are not being told that they are beautiful just the way they are.

I am lucky though.  I don’t really know what my host mother’s opinion is about her niece’s surgery.  I have a feeling she is wearing even a better mask than me.  My host sister is 11 in American age going on 12 in March.  She is young, smart and such a pretty girl.  She does not have double eyelids.  I am lucky, because this past weekend I was able to tell her my opinion about the eyelid surgery.  I told her that I do not think it is right and that I think that everyone has beautiful eyes and her eyes are beautiful too.  I am lucky, because maybe I am helping take part in my host sister’s image of herself- not just beauty wise but in many other aspects.  I am lucky, because her mother does always tell her that she is pretty.  I am lucky because my mother did and still does tell me how beautiful I am.  I am lucky, because when my host sister came out of her room to say farewell to her aunt and cousin and her aunt seemed to make a comment about maybe her getting the surgery in the future.  I looked on with horror growing in my heart at the way my host sister didn’t really look at her aunt and instead at the table. Then my host mom in her magical, caring way, somewhat retorted with, I believe, “nah, she’s fine just the way she is.”  You go host mom. 

I have it easy.  But that doesn’t make it any less hard to help break stereotypes of beauty.  True, I might have a little meat on my bones.  I’d rather have something there than next to nothing at all.  I am lucky.  I am lucky that I have had so many positive female role models to look up to in my life.  I am lucky because I know that even though I struggle with thoughts about my own image in more ways than one, I know that I am on a journey of self-acceptance. And I am proud to say that I am very much well on my way.

Because of all the wonderful people in my life, especially my constant supporters of family and friends….I have it easy.